Web Series – ONE TRICK PONY – Episode Two
In The Dark
ONE TRICK PONY: A Web Series I tried to get it off the ground but never got much done with it… so here it is being put up as a script to be read. I’ll put up an episode every once in a while, as I get them done. I hope you enjoy the show.
NARRATOR: In The Dark… this started with someone in the total dark… Shel is usally in the dark about most things. He’d like to believe that he’s on the ball, able to juggle many balls… reality is… he can’t even think two steps ahead in his real life… let alone the make believe one he lives in his head. So, there he is standing in the dark near a bed, he just stands there watching the lady, he engaged to for the last 5 years… sleep. She a good snorer. He leans over her looking at her hand. He then looks at his hands, he looks at her hand, he once again looks at his hands. He turns and leans his back over the bed so that he laying in mid air like her and puts his hands out in front of him and tries to see if he can figure out which of her hands is which. It suddenly dawns on him that her ring finger would have a ring on it. He turns around and almost falls on top of her. He gets his balance back just before he falls on her.
NARRATOR: You are reading ONE TRICK PONY – Episode Two – by John Rakestraw
Episode One can be found by clicking on the link.
SHEL: How in the hell do I get myself in this crap. We’ve all been there… and if you haven’t. Well it’s crazy. You stand over a person as they sleep waiting for the right time to reach down and grab their hand and pull a ring off their finger. This person I’m hovering over is my girlfriend. We’ve dated for a long time. We’ve wanted to get married but it has to be the right time. I have a job and home and a car and friends and I’m just not ready to give up my freedom at this time. Gail, that her name, my girlfriend, the one snoring, she understands. She gives me my space and I give her… (pause) I gave her a ring, years ago. A nice ring, it cost $100. I need it back. She’ll understand later why I need it now. I just have to slowly get it off her finger and get out before she notices me or the ring are gone. I slept here with her and now I need to get the ring and run. She puts up with a lot from me over the years. I once even gave her a key to my house… I’ve since change the locks and didn’t give her a new key. That was 3 years ago. It’s funny that she never tied the key or hasn’t even come over in the last 3 years. As I said she gives me my space and I give her… (pause) I gave her birthday cards, Valentine’s Day Cards, chocolate, when I remember too. There’s time… I give her time… time is priceless. How many people give you time. Time to think, time to yourself, time to wait. It’s time I got that damn ring.
NARRATOR: Shel reaches down, he holding his breath as he does this, he reaches her hand and slowly works his way to the right finger. The ring finger. He remembers the night he order that ring. They had been looking at rings for a while. Gail really fell in love with this beautiful set and Shel thought what the hell. If it makes her happy he could enjoy the great fun and happiness it brought to their relationship. He ask over the jeweler to have her finger sized. He order the ring and had it shipped to her and she got in the mail. He never thought of taking her to dinner and surprising her with it, it never came to his mind that she might want a little romance and celebration with the ring. He even forgot that he order it for her. Not until it got hooked into his hair one night that they were making out and it pulled out some of his hair. He looked at the ring and remember when they got it. He took it off her finger and looked her in the eyes and told her how much he enjoyed their time together. How much he loved her. He slowly placed the ring on her finger and told her when the time is right they would get married. The time still wasn’t right. But, he needed that ring. He slowly and gently pulled the ring off Gail’s finger. It wouldn’t move. He remembers years ago just slipping off the ring. She gotten fatter over the years, or maybe she works out with that hand and it gotten tighter. He tried to unscrew it from her finger, it wouldn’t move. He spit on his fingers and use that to try and loosen the ring. It wouldn’t move. He pull at the finger with the ring, which in turn woke Gail up from her snoring. She looks lost and not sure of what was going on.
GAIL: What are you doing with my hand and ring?
SHEL: I need the ring back… you see I—
GAIL: You want MY RING BACK, JERK!!!
SHEL: No… well yes…
GAIL: I’ve been waiting for a wedding for more years then I can count. You have told me how much you love me… but you never set a date, or remember our anniversary, birthday, first date, first day I gave myself to you… and now to top that all off. YOU WANT MY RING BACK!
GAIL: DON’T, GAIL ME… I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! YOU JERK! I”VE WASTED TOO MUCH OF MY LIFE WITH YOU. I BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE ELSE. I WAS EVEN FEEL BAD THAT I WAS CHEATING ON YOU, JERK! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE, OUT OF MY BED! OUT OF MY WAY. GET OUT!!
SHEL: Gail… I have a—
GAIL: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE, JERK!
SHEL: Let me make it up to you. I can fix this…
GAIL: That would have to be one good fix! The only fix you know is drugs, boz and screwing up royally!
SHEL: You and I can go away on a long hon… wait… did you say that you’re having an affair with someone else… who’s this person?
GAIL: He the kid who manages the KFC, You probably forgot that I work at the KFC… right?
SHEL: I thought you were still at the… no, NO… I give you a freaking ring… you and I are going to get married… I just bou-
GAIL: No, he wants to get married this weekend in Las Vegas… by Elvis. So, you want the ring back… here you jerk! (She throws the ring at him, it bounces off his chest and falls to the ground and rolls around and then falls through a crack in the floorbroads.) See, even that cheap ass ring doesn’t even want to go with you. Get out, jerk face!
SHEL: Gail… just listen
GAIL: NO, NO! (She pushes Shel out door into the cold night air, without his shoes and slams the door shut on his bewildered face.)
SHEL: Damnit, GAIL LISTEN TO ME!
GAIL: (The sound of the door being locked.) You are a total and complete loser… go away!
SHEL: (He just stands there shocked and lost.)
GAIL: (She can be heard on the other side of the door talking on a phone.) Hello, Jason, baby. I’m ready to marry you. I have just kicked out that loser Shelby out of my bed, house, life, relationship and heart. He is such a loser… right now he’s just standing outside my door. I think I might need to get my Pepper Spray out on my purse and chase him off with it.
NARRATOR: Shel just slowly walks away towards his car in his bare feet. He stops and looks back at the door a few times and then thinks better of it… finally he feels he come up with his best come back to the whole damn thing.
SHEL: You know it isn’t the real Elvis, he’s dead! That’s right you are marrying a dead guy… I mean you are being married by a dead guy… no, no! He’s fake! Not the guy your marrying… but the one who’s marring you both… oh, crap… I mean… GO TO HELL GAIL!!!!
NARRATOR: We hope to see you next time here on the internet. At johnlrakestraw.com!
You’re reading “ONE TRICK PONY” Episode Two by John Rakestraw.